When's An Answer Not An Answer?

When it's provided by Dunedin Canmore.

Boom, boom!

Do you get the joke?

The joke is me, it's Mr King, it's every other poor sod that is being hounded by Dunedin The-Great-Darkness Canmore.

They emailed a reply to my complaint. In the brief moment it took my laptop to open the email and it's attached document I allowed myself to believe that it was finally over, finally we would know if the bills and threatening letters that they sent were valid and legal.

Taking all things into account my response was remarkably restraint:

Good morning

That was a very lovely, eloquently put letter and I can see how it would take you 'five working days' to produce.

Your definition of factoring fees was masterful. Your story of Dunedin taking over a run down area of Edinburgh and investing in it's beauty reminded me of Shrek - you know the bit where Prince Farquaad took Shreks swamp and was going to improve it but that damned Ogre was just an unsophisticated monster who knew nothing. Here's a thought, maybe there's a princess in a tower that Mr King could save for you in exchange for his swamp.

Unfortunately, while I do appreciate the beauty of your letter, I can't for the life of me see the part of this letter that responds to my original points:  

• Evidence that Mr King is legally obliged to pay the factoring costs - the fact that you are sending him bills and demands shows that you believe he is liable for this payment and I would like to see the legal documents that confirm this. 
• If you have no legal documents or know of no legal precedence that states Mr King is liable for this payment then I want you to confirm that his details will be removed from your files as you have no right to send him letters demanding payment

Maybe you could help me out with this one. Maybe, out of the goodness of your heart, you could highlight the part of the letter that responds to the above questions that I have repeatedly asked and then send it back to me.

Oh, oh I have a better idea! This is a beauty and wont take you five minutes but it does come with instructions so bear with me.

Instructions:
Provided below are two statements, statement number one and statement number two. I would like you to choose which statement is legally correct. Hover your mouse over the statement that you have selected and pressing the left mouse button drag your cursor over that statement, this will highlight your selection. Now, right click the mouse while the cursor is hovering over the correct statement that you have chosen and select 'copy' from the drop down menu that appears. Open a new email, right click your mouse in the empty email and select 'paste' from the drop down menu. Then address this email to me and hit send.

And your choices are:

    1. Yes, Mr King is legally obliged to pay Dunedin Canmore's factoring charges

    2. No, Mr King is not legally obliged to pay Dunedin Camore's factoring charges

 

I look forward to hearing from you.

If I don't hear from you then I will look into alternative means of resolving this issue.

Kind regards

Jen